my google is so cute

if you notice..

darn cute right. got cookie monster one.

what the.

i hate irresponsible people. thankyouverymuch.

and also some girls whom think that they've found their so called other half at that very young age. probably i was there before. i know that at this age, there is nothing so true. worst still less than 3 months.

yes, i know there will be alot of people flaming me after this statement. i dont mean that there is no the one now, just that, how long she knows him? how many times they met each other? does she even knows that he is not serious? i don't think so.

a so young girl, trusting a also so young boy. wtf. is plain bullshit.

worst still when i am seeing all this thing happen, but do not know what to do. shall i sit back and see her get hurt, or wait to see him hurt her?

i don't know. it is sick.

effin high

drank with the kai ma and cousins last night. at that point, was feeling rather down. at first was long island tea. well, it made no effect on me. i prefer the hoegaarden. smooth, less bitter. well, it tasted better than those bottled ones.

its my new love now.

after paulaner of course!

On the other hand, clubbing thursday, shall i go?

or shall i stay at home and be a good girl?

i go club because there is unsettle issues. i feel not good at home. each time i am alone at home, i feel sick. i feel down. i feel sad. that's why.

shall i?

updates

what is going on actually.

blackberry, i am craving for you. was browsing around and looking for phones. and okay. i settled on blackberry 8510. although my love falls for the 8900. but then, tight budget. 8510 is only 888 from xpax. if i buy the 8900, i will be poor. no more starbucks, no more entertainment and most importantly, i wont have money to spend during the HK trip.

Anyways, talking about trips, i am going to HK on November and Japan on March/April. Well, at least a trip with mom before i leave the country for studies. and oh god, i dont have to travel alone for 28 hours. i have Loh shu wan. we meet almost everyday but who knows she wants to go to US? haha. but well, the conversation started of with :eh do you plan to go US? while we were so damn busy studying for our econs test.

Well, who knows what will happen right now, and my birthday is reaching. one month left to be 19. like what rodney said in his msn you wont be 17 forever. or something like that. well, who cares what will happen next, i've made my decission.

19th

sad day on 19th

that is all i can say

I ♥ manicures

who dont like the feeling of being pampered?

who dont like the feeling of looking at someone do your nail? while you look like those rich tai tai gossiping with your friends. choosing which color suits your skintone and matches your well kept nails.

well, deep deep deep inside me, i totally ♥ manicures! it makes my fingers pretty and for those whom bite their nails, better news! it will stop you from biting nails.

when i come out of the shop, i will feel well pampered. next time, i will get zebra nails. cant find the exact image but, i remember doing it 2 years ago on my birthday! imma get it for my bday this year!

college started and test is next week. off to study! :) PEACE OUT PEOPLE

09092009

a day to remember? nop. in fact, i didnt realise till late afternoon. I'm tired today.

was too excited after hearing mom telling me about the fantastic holiday plan. but, sigh... cancelled.

anyways, HK in November. yeeha.

Also, the new starbuck drink, taste like shit. the after taste totally failed terribly. tasted like cockroach.

will be doing field trip next two weeks. wish me luck. no chicken. no dirty. no smelly will be best!

the wedding dream

just now while day dreaming i suddenly dreamt of my dream wedding. it's not like i never think of it before. but it is just that. after so many times, i'm still not bored of it. it often made me enchanted.

well, one thing about me is the fact that i like things to be simple yet different. i hate chinese weddings. cause it takes forever to finish and still so common. and also hate that part where the bride and groom goes up to the stage and were asked to do stupid things. it is not funny. it is humiliating.

my dream will starts from the proposal itself. my husband, will then bring me to the house of my dreams. give me the key. and let me open the house door. with a walk in shoe closet. bag closet.

all renovated to perfection. he then close my eyes and lead me into the shoe closet and ask me, sayang, will you marry me? oh damn. so touching. my future house will have a garden. a swimming pool, a place where everyone thinks it is a paradise to be in. bathtubs, jacuzzi... satisfying.

during the preperation period, i will have friends, made of honor and bridesmate choose the wedding gown, try it on, make changes, then, we will go spa together. and all my friends, made of honor and bridesmate will have the same manicure and pedicure. i am going to wear the most perfect dress. walking down the aisle in the church. holding the most geogeous hunk. then we will take pictures, tonnes of pictures. i'm going to wear the most stunning Christian Louboutin. with the purest white gown by vera wang. oh dam. perfect.

the dinner will not be at night. it will be in the evening. not in a 5 star hotel, or somewhere classy. it will only be in a garden or a beach. throughout the dinner, romantic soft music will be aired. it will not be a buffet dinner or a chinese dinner. Instead, it will be a fine western dinner. maybe 5 course. then, everyone dance the night away. slow music, fast music.

it is so perfect. i am still enchanted despite telling this story tenthousandtimes. yo soy enchantado

i die.

have you ever felt so numb you feel like quiting? so busy that you feel that you need a break? So restless. you feel that everything is happening during the fortnight? you dont know when to do what first . everything is jam packing your schedule. you feel depressed, tired. and ocassionally happy?

well, that is how i feel now. i dont know why this happen. but i assume everything happen for a reason. everything will settle down eventually. well, hopefully. :)

well moving on, do you know that i love desserts? well, its stated in my about me column. but when i eat them? happy, and sad. i have desserts when i am happy, because it can make me happier, and eat them when i'm sad. hoping that it wil make me happier.

well, yesterday was a not so normal day. i remember myself eating dessert and tearing at the same time. well, not anything sad. but i somehow don't know what to do. thats why. but it was all settled later on.

Well, i certainly felt better. I'm not a person whom will give up so easy. I will face everything efficiently. and i will do the best. cause i am sure everything will be better tomorrow.

i dont understand

why he goes to church?

why he forces me to go church?

why he can still be so active in church?

.

.

.

.

.

when he ran away without telling anyone. when he left the family behind and ran away. when he neglected me as his daughter. for all this minutes. yes. i cried. but not because i am sad. maybe i was 20% SAD. and the rest is because i am angry. angry that he can hang up. angry because i became a good girl. and he cannot be one. angry because he doesn't care at all.

who am i to him? what this family meant for him? what is he thinking?

that's why i've never beleive in going to church. because there is an example living with me. someone that is good only in the face. not more than that.

He is fortunate to even have a wife like that. someone who can bare every single thing. when he quit his job because of stress. which wife will stay by and pay for everything?

i dont know.

Well, he was once the person whom i most listen to. not even my mom. i love my mom. and i know she did sacrifice a lot for me. but i somehow listen more to him. but now. sorry. you've lost my respect. respect is earned. you built up your respect for 20 years and **boom**. ruined it in 2 nights.

well, much said. till i get a reasonable explaination, i will not see you. talk to you or at times, will not even call you daddy.

i am not mean... at all. compared to what you did to us.

i am not disowning my daddy. he is my dad from the first till last day i die. but just to make things clear. he crossed the border way much further this time.

although what happened to their marriage, i couldn't care much. what i care is just to forget this thing thouroughly.